Team Sonic Racing Review/End of the Weekly Cycle

Well, I managed it for a few months, but at this point, it’s time for me to come to terms with the fact that the weekly posting schedule ain’t happening. Alas. Besides, there’s not enough worthwhile news for me to keep up a good output of parody articles like the Batwoman one. The world is simultaneously too cringe inducing and, yet, not cringe-inducing enough!

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As I cope with these shocking revelations, enjoy this fantastic review of Team Sonic Racing, which happens to closely align with my views on the game. Hell, the reviewer even mentioned the Babylon Rogues. Funny, I thought I was the only one who remembered them.

Anywho, thanks for reading, and I hope you’ll follow me on Twitter for more hot-off-the-press blogging and game coverage.

How Dare There Be Ads on My Free Blog

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Credit: Some crafty memester on the deep web

I recently became aware that WordPress has been displaying the most unsightly, disgusting ads imaginable on my site. I’m talking the “doctors hate this 1 quick trick” ads with pulsating, moving images of pimples; stuff of that variety. Viagra ads. Ads advertising other ads. You name it.

But as much as the raw imagery of these advertisements appalls me, I’m far more perturbed by the simple fact that they even exist. How dare WordPress have the gall, the unfettered gall, to display promotional content on my site. My site, which is entirely possible due to their free service. My site, which owes its layout and web hosting status thanks to WordPress’ generosity. My site, which would not exist without their multitudinous free offerings.

In short, I’m sorry, non-Wordpress readers, for your having to suffer through some nasty ads. And as for you, WordPress, I hate you. Thank you for your free service.

The Illuminati Tried to Stop My Blog

It’s official, everybody: My return from self-imposed blog exile has caught the attention of the triangle men.

Illuminati_triangle_eye

Image courtesy of Wikipedia Commons

Let’s lay out the timeline of events, so you can decide for yourself if I’m being paranoid:

1) On Saturday, February 23rd, I make my grand return to this blog in order to bring its wisdom back to the forefront of the internet. I pledge that I will post (or re-post) once per week, in some fashion or another, no matter what. I also specify, in that announcement, that my secondary goal will be to stay alive. Remember that last bit, as it comes into play very shortly.

Continue reading

Robert-Man: Homecoming / 2019 State of the Union

Image courtesy of Wikipedia Commons

They say that with a blog, “you get out what you put in.” Well, truth be told, I haven’t been putting out, getting in, or any permutation of the above phrase for quite some time. Hell, I doubt anyone’s even reading this—so with that in mind, I’m writing this as more of a time capsule, for a day when this blog actually regains its traffic foothold. Seriously, I still haven’t recovered from that insane domain name swap I did a few years ago that nuked my spot in Google’s search algorithm. Classic Google. Classic me.

With all that in mind, here’s the scoop: I’m back. And I’m committed to doing the following things:
-At least one new post (or re-post) per week.
-Staying alive.

These might seem like simple goals, but sometimes you need to relearn how to walk before you can relearn how to run. And I’m currently relearning how to crawl.

On that note, I leave you with a poem:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Google SEO:
I’m coming for you.