Alita: Battle Angel Review

If you’ve ever cringed in reaction to spotting a real-life weeaboo, know that this movie will give you healthy insight into their lifestyle without making your skin crawl.


Alita: Battle Angel
has some painfully awkward dialogue, a few not-so-hot performances (Hugo’s actor does not do a great job), and a pretty forgettable overall story arc, but it’s an excellent showcase of state-of-the-art CGI, and for that alone, it’s pretty darn enjoyable. If you want to be visually wowed, this is a movie worthy of the theater experience.

Though the film is a prisoner of its anime roots, complete with poorly executed melodrama and janky pacing, the film’s visuals overcome these gripes, especially when Alita‘s great action scenes are factored in. Camera angles are fluid and dynamic, each hit and strike has real heft behind it, and the chiaroscuro of the film’s moody nighttime lighting (since most of the action takes place at night) creates a three-dimensional atmosphere that most movies fail to achieve.

And, lastly, there’s Alita herself, who is a great justification to go see this film. Not only is she a technological marvel, but she’s also a real character with huge flaws, quirks, and goals (all of which are conveyed excellently by her actress’ impressive mo-cap performance). In an age where it’s politically incorrect to showcase non-white-male characters as anything less than effortlessly perfect, this is a refreshing, realistic change of pace.

For these reasons, I’d give Alita: Battle Angel a recommend over whatever low-tier, one-dimensional, socjus-pandering drivel Captain Marvel is likely to pump out. However, be warned: this movie has no ending. NO ending. Its credits roll at the finish of act 2, right before the actual climax can happen. I suppose the climax will be the sequel’s opening action sequence, but… well… it’s unlikely there will be a sequel. So view this as an entertaining advertisement for the Alita manga/anime/weeb stuff, rather than as a self-contained story, if you choose to go see it.

Also, since you’ve read this far, I should mention I now have a Twitter! If you want premiere access to bizarre tweets where I sell my soul in exchange for a silly follower count number, you know what to do.


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