Review of “Godzilla”

You’re paying for ten minutes of Godzilla action. There. I said it.godzilla-trailer-tv-spot-sneak-peek-courage

Godzilla is one of those rare movies that I feel bad about trash talking, as from all aspects its an expertly done monster movie with great sound design, cinematography, expert acting and a great cast (referring to Godzilla, of course). So I’ll say, right out of the gate, that it’s a very well done movie with a surprisingly enjoyable story that makes you actually care about the human characters, for a change.

Sadly, this is a movie about human characters, not the titular character.

The big bad lizard of destruction appears briefly, about an hour into the movie, and then disappears after thirty seconds. He then reappears for the finale, for a total of about nine and a half minutes (of screen time). If you pay your ten to fifteen dollars with the sole intent of seeing Godzilla throw down, prepare for disappointment. The enemy kaiju that he has to fight get such an extraordinary amount of screen time compared to Big G that it’s not even funny. They make up about half of the movie, whereas Godzilla makes up about a twelfth, not to mention that his bits are mixed in with generic United States military trooper number seven hundred and four, and we’re supposed to enjoy that entanglement. Riiiight.

-Godzilla brings the pain
-Fights are weighty, as giant monster fights should be
-Payoff is pretty hefty for the finale (makes you smile like a five year old kid, out of sheer glee)
-The last Olsen sister with an actual successful acting career
-Great cast
-Bryan Cranston isn’t just shoe-horned in, he has an actual purpose and decent role
-Godzilla’s roar
-Surprisingly good overall plot

-Some so-so visuals
-The main military guy’s name is Brody. F*cking Brody. His dad’s name? Joe Brody.
-This is closer to Lone Survivor than Godzilla in terms of human to monster content ratio
-Did I mention barely any Godzilla?

See it once in theaters, solely to hear Godzilla’s roar and see him on the big screen in a movie worthy of his title. But after that, nothing will compel you to sit through it twice and be subjected to an hour and fifty minutes of human drama just for ten minutes of a giant lizard kicking ass.

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