RE Review: Sonic 06… Is Good?!

Yes, following the glory that was Dishonored, we are brought back into the realm of long forgotten (for good reason) video games. One such title is Sonic 2006.

Why, why would I bring this supposedly horrendous game back to the discussion table? Because, upon replaying it, I’ve discovered it’s really not THAT horrendous.

Before further analysis, click here for the original rage-filled review. It was posted minutes after my first rage quit of Sonic 06, where I angrily slammed the disc back into the case and happily traded it for two dollars of store-credit at Gamestop (good thing I only paid seven for it initially). Well, two months down the line when there came an extreme lull in games, I noticed a glaring “zero” in my achievement score for a single game. That game with no achievements unlocked was Sonic 06.

Being the achievement whore that I am, I couldn’t stand seeing a game in my history where I hadn’t unlocked at least ONE achievement, so you can guess what I did. I got back on eBay, and bought Sonic 06 a second time (also for seven dollars). My compulsive achievement hunter instincts wouldn’t let me off the hook until I’d unlocked at least one cheevo, and the easiest way to do that looked like completing Sonic’s story. And godamn, was it ever painful.

As you can probably tell by now, this isn’t a traditional review. I’ve given a backstory, and now I need to give a narrative on my current feelings towards the game. As of the date this was posted, having beaten Sonic’s and Shadow’s stories and half of Silver’s, I can honestly say the game isn’t THAT bad. The controls are ridiculously precise, the camera chews away at your sanity, and there are more than a few glaring glitches, but the majority of these things can be mastered. Hell, I actually found myself having fun during Sonic’s Kingdom Valley level. The fun really starts when you get game-breaking gems and can pretty much just screw the game over. By that point, even the glitches can’t stop you because you ARE a glitch.

That pretty much sums up the game. Once you get to the point of good power-ups (or game-breaking bugs), you’re set and can actually enjoy 06. But before you can enjoy, you must suffer. So here’s my advice for any diehard Sonic fans out there itching to try this game:
1.) Go out and buy it for cheap.
2.) Pop that bad boy in the disc tray and install it.
3.) Get to Lava Core in Sonic’s story, scream in frustration as bugs and bad Knuckles gameplay torment you.
4.) Rip that disc out, slam it in the case and put it in the cleaning supply closet of your living area.
5.) Months later (at least two) when there is a lack of new and interesting games, pull it out.
6.) Before playing, watch loooooots of guides on how to ace the level(s) that made you quit in the first place, and search for any shortcuts that can glitch you through the level.
7.) Actually have some fun with Sonic 06. Whether you’re playing as that slow bastard Shadow or Pothead the Porcupine, there is fun to be had.

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