Review of Driver: San Francisco for Xbox 360

A racing game. Something that’s been done a million times already. But does Ubisoft make a unique experience out of it, or are we just in for another copy-and-paste joyride experience? Read on to find out!

Story: There’s more to it than this, but basically some dude gets in a wicked crash, causing him to get the magical power of teleportation between cars. That makes complete sense.

Sound: The dialogue is cheesy, to say the least. Music is cool though, and you can select your own tracks while you drive, allowing you to cruise to whatever beats suit your tastes. Sound: 7.5/10

Presentation: This game looks sharp. In short, it’s just like if you were in the third-person in real life driving a car. Sweet graphics. Presentation: 9/10

Gameplay: Aside from all the basics of racing, this game grants you the ability to teleport between any car within your vicinity, which is pretty handy (and really cool). The game makes use of this ability and standard driving mechanics by coming up with loads of unique, creative missions that all put your skills with a controller to the test. I’m really impressed by how much fun, ingenious variety there is in these missions, so that things never feel repetitive. In fact, my only problem with the game is it’s EXTREMELY HARD difficulty/learning curve. After about the first tutorial, difficulty spikes higher than Mt. Everest and shoves you into some of the most unforgiving and insanely difficult challenges I’ve ever encountered in a racer, especially in the first level. The game expects the controls to be mastered within the first seconds of playing, and you’ll need that mastery to beat the frickin’ devilishly hard AI the game pits against you. And, ironically enough, whenever there’s a team race the only dumb AI is your TEAMMATE, who will swerve around like an idiot while your immensely difficult opponents breeze past the finish line. It gets even worse when you’re doing missions with time limits while you’re driving a clunky truck and trailer down an open road with like seven enemy SUVs all ramming into you at the same time. It’s just ridiculous. I can not explain the torture this game puts you through. It’s got interesting gameplay and great controls, that I agree with, but the difficulty is just too &^%*ing hard. Gameplay: 1/10

Multiplayer: Oh Ubisoft, how I love your methods of daylight robbery. So, to play this game online you need a “Street Pass”, which only comes with a brand new copy of the game. If anyone else besides the original purchaser even wants to dream about the multiplayer, they’re gonna have to waist an extra ten dollars for a Street Pass that allows them access. So, did I buy one? Hell no! What sort of cheapskate company pulls that? Multiplayer: 1/10

Length: Well, if you’re not interested in pointlessly wasting extra money on multiplayer, this game’s impossible campaign lasts about five hours. Now, if you include the constant failures and retries it takes to beat said campaign, your total time spent will be about four million twenty-seven thousand three hundred sixty-two hours, assuming you haven’t jumped off a three story building in frustration by that point. Length: 1/10

Overall: This gam gets 3.9 car wrecks out of 10, being a controller-breakingly maddening experience that should only be played by the best of the best… of the best.

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